i thought i was over with it . thought the person couldn t get into my mind couldn to infiltrate me with his words .. but how he can how he used to . i simply have to say that i love him no matter what no space no time no sens its pure and evil sadistic love i ve got for him i just wanna talk with him throw myself into his arms and smell his scent i just wonder why i feel this way why ive got myself into so much trouble why i cant even have love or whatever this is called to feel the human beeing form . i feel so lost and like an idiot to believe in somethimg like that . i just meet him for 7 hours and he is just getting so much under my skin like no one before i just returned to him and see whats left behind of so much great word and promises i would do everything for him maybe i will hate myself for my words but its simple and pure i like him for everything he is its so sick and wrong but i can g help it i just wanna do so much for him even drive all miles to him just to see him . i wonder if it will ever will stop the pain and thw hrt the lonlyness- it s like i wanna have something i can never have .miss him so much .. and everytging i m doing every step i am doing he is still with me . strange but pure. no matter how much i drink no matter i an doing i cabt get him out of my mind i wish i never meet hi´m but in the sane moment i wanna never miss a single moment of it i wish i would be stronger wish i could forget him wish i .... i wish so much and i want him to became happpy that he don t have to fight find his way . i know i can never be the person anymore of that to be with him and guide or to help him with all his sorrows . i ve got to move on dom t know hpw but i will somehow even if i maybe will never my goal i hope he ist staisfed with everything he s got . i wish him all the best all the happines all the pureness all the love and to say that its torning myself into pieces i wish i wish so much .
i miss him with every breath i will take with every word i am saying with everything i ve got goodbye sweet love ..
ihis love is gonna tear us apart
maybe one day on a lonley white little ship in a known city its me who will wait for you but not today not now maybe never